I, Survivor by Ada Rizzo-Excerpt from the novel 'Twenty-Four Carats'

 

L, Survivor

 

As I exit the courtroom, I look at my rapist; or rather I challenge his gaze so fiercely that he lowers his head. I could tell him, "If you're hoping my heart will explode and that I will die, forget about it!" Instead, I say, "Know that there were moments when I feared I wouldn't make it, but I managed to get through it. The rape was not just an unfortunate incident during a night of sex. You planned it all. Stop pretending. You punished me because I said no; you raped me because you saw me as your property, a thing, a possession of yours. You showed me no respect; you humiliated me, erased my identity. You couldn't handle a rejection. You were a bastard!

I hardly have words left. No, I do find them, and they pour out like a raging river: I didn't consider you a man; you were a beast!

That was not love. It was hate, violence, power, dominance, control. It was all the worst that can be done to a woman.

You are the cause; I am the effect. It was you who threw me into that hell, you who kept me submerged in that darkness, time and again. That night, on life's chessboard, you chose to knock down both towers, and we both fell.

You devastated me inside, taking away my self-esteem, my privacy, my joy, my time, my intimacy, my security, my identity, my very voice. In the early days, I could hardly speak. When I started to do so, I stuttered... I couldn't master the words to express the violence you inflicted upon me. I had to struggle and relearn how to look at and accept my body. It felt so violated, dirty, that I didn't want it anymore. I wanted to forget it... like you might with a nightmare. You can't give me back the life I had before that night. It's embarrassing how fragile and delicate I still feel. I move through my new life like a child learning to walk alone, without an adult as my safe harbor. You have no idea how hard I have worked to piece together the parts of myself that shattered that night. It felt like living in a cage, with the invisible bars tattooed on my skin, and most of all in my emotions, in that part deep within me where I could no longer find comfort and peace.

There are times when I don't want to be touched. I want to tell you that the damage was done primarily to me. You should have never made me fight so long to prove something so evident from the very beginning: I am the victim; you are the guilty!

What happened that night cannot be erased? However, we both have a choice: we can allow it to destroy us, or we can confront it. I have accepted the pain; you accept the punishment. In a sense, we cannot save ourselves alone. I want to tell you that, aside from ourselves, it is always the other who can save or destroy us. You tried to annihilate me, to objectify me, stripping me of my identity. Those who listened to me with interest, affection, and empathy restored my dimension as a human subject.

There have been times when I felt so vulnerable that I was destroyed by trauma, but over time I became resilient enough to overcome it and regenerate.

I walk away from the courthouse with my head held high, aware of my strength and resilience. My voice was firm, my words clear and unequivocal. I'm rebuilding my life, and I won't let my past define my future.

Excerpt from the novel 'Twenty-Four Carats'

by Ada Rizzo.

 

Biography

Ada Rizzo was born in Sicily (Italy) in 1960.

Her life is built on solid roots and traditional values. Optimistic, cheerful, curious, and creative, she is interested in art and psychology. She loves to cook and sheadores music. After a thirty-year career at IBM Italy, she decided to reinvent herself. For several years now, she has been a Life Counselor with a humanistic-relational approach and a Facilitator in Mindfulness. She has been involved for about 20 years and currently engages in humanitarian projects and volunteering in Kenya.

In 2021, she published her first novel with a strong autobiographical tone titled “Volevoiltaccododici?” which received an honorary mention at the intercontinental literary award “Le Nove Muse”.

She wrote the introduction to the poetry collection “Il Rumore dell’acqua” by Italian poet Andrea Ruiu.

In 2022, she published her second novel “Iris Ali di Vetro,” which addresses the delicate topic of eating disorders (ED).

In 2023, she published her third novel “Novanta battiti al minuto”, a true story that tackles the sensitive issue of heart transplantation, for which she received the Jury Prize at the International Literary Art Award Cygnus Aureus 2024.

In 2024, she published "VentiquattroCarati," which addresses the issue of gender violence; a work that was awarded the International Literary Art Prize La ViadeiLibri, the International Lord Byron Prize 2024, the International Literary Art Prize - to say no to violence against women - Il Canto di Dafne 2024, and the National Argentario Prize 2024 & Caravaggio.

Due to the subjects covered in her books, the author has received several recognitions, including the “International Award for Peace and Human Rights Defense Italy 2023” , the “Civic Merit Award for Solidarity and Inclusion of People with Disabilities 2023”, "Solidarity Award for Art and Civic Engagement 2024", “ReconocimientoInternacionalMujerDestacada 2024” for her dedication to art, culture, peace, and social justice in the world.

In 2024 she participated in the international cultural project for peace and the defense of human rights, from which the anthology “Art without Borders” was born, a poetic collection that brings together 36 international poets and artists. Her piece "Nelsilenzio del mondo" is part of this anthology.

In December 2024 she also received:

-“Certificate of International Recognition LETTER OF PEACE” award given to her for literary contribution to the International promotion of Culture, human rights and Peace.

- "International Literature Language Journal", "Art and Literature Certificate 2024", awards granted in America for her cultural contribution to Art and Literature on an international level.

- Award  “Best Influential Personality of 2024"

- “Humanist Certificate”

- “International Forum for Creativity“.

In January 2025, she was awarded the following honors: 

- Diploma of Honor from the International Forum for Creativity and Humanity 

- International Award "Culture Without Borders 2025" 

 

-Honorary Consultant of the “Cattedradelle Donne”, an international socio-educational-cultural project sponsored by the UN, which promotes the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women.

 

-Honorary Member and Europe-Africa Coordinator for RRM3, Renaissance Renaissance Millennium III.

 

-Honorary doctorate for humanitarian merits.

 

-Official Member of CIESART - Chamber of Writers & Artists

 

She will participle as a co-author in the International Cultural Project ComParPoesia 2025, which involves 350 women writers from 5 continents to give voice to women and celebrate their artistic and cultural contribution to the world.

Currently, she holds the position of "Chief Communications Officer, Italy" for the Global Literary Event: Panorama International Literature Festival 2025.

Her poems on gender-based violence, “A Light in the Darkness”, “Women” and the others on Peace and human rights  have been translated into English, Spanish, Arabic, Polish, Greek, Bengali and included in various literary journals and international poetry anthologies both print and digital, such as “Atunis Galaxy Poetry,” “Life,” “Contemporary Italian Poetry,” “Our Poetry Archive,” “European Poetry,” “Sindh Courier,” “Saubarna,” “Whispers across Languages,” “Raven Cage,” and the “USA Humanist Anthology”, “Humanity Magazine Global”, “Orfeu.AL”, “Literary Barcelona Magazine”, “Autumn Poetry Magazine”, “ Worddsmith International Editorial”, “The Raft of Dreams Literary Magazine”, “Alessandria today”, “Bamsari”, “Carlos Zemek Arte e Cultura”, “MulherArte”, “Pen Craft”, “Shristi”, “Friendship of People Magazine n.10 “, “Christmas Poetry Magazine”, “Paz na Tera”, “Sarnolata”.

The author has contributed as a translator and poetry analyst, bringing works by various poets into Italian, including those of Shoshana Vegh, Tasneem Hossain, RexhepShahu, Kareem Abdullah, SerkanEngin, and Zainul Husain. She has translated and commented on the epic poem "DevdootThe Angel" by the poet SudhakarGaidhani, as well as the novel "The Great Warrior Klisania and Trifilia" by the writer, poet, cultural promoter and publisher AgronShele.

Her translations help to intensify international literary dialogue.

She also drafted the preface and introduction for some prestigiousinternational poetry anthologies. Rizzo is a collaborator of “Alessandria Today”, a national and international media platform that covers culture, art, news, poetry, events, politics, and the environment. With 126 collaborators and a readership of approximately 2,500,000 worldwide.Rizzo articles mainly focus on cultural promotion, the analysis of lyrics and novels, national and international art and culture.

It is her strong desire to intensify the promotion of cultural activities for poetic and literary talents. Likewise, she will consistently work to defend human rights, peace, and women who are victims of violence.

Life has taken her everywhere, Love has brought her home.